I’ve been addicted to busy-ness and I realized it was to avoid a subconscious fear of feeling lonely…Do you do this too?
New Years Eve, I had my sparkly dress and 4 inch heels all picked out for a party I was going to go to with my best friend.
Honestly, I didn’t even want to go anymore when it was time to get ready. I was SO exhausted from my long day, and the thought of driving 45 minutes with sleepy eyes and drunk drivers on the road did not sound appealing.
But the thought of scrolling through everyone else’s dazzling festivities while I sat around at home doing nothing sounded even worse. (Ew at what social media has done to us, btw!)
As I was about to get ready, my friend called (also exhausted from her long day & evening) and asked if I wanted to just come over and watch movies instead.
Hallelujah. Relieved, I changed into sweats, picked up a bottle of sparkling cider and a tub of Häagen-Dazs and headed to her house where we curled up, watched movies, then talked about life and the dreams God’s placed in our hearts for 2015.
I traded in what would’ve been another night out in a dress and heels for a relaxed night in with a dear friend. This was so symbolic of an important theme I want to work on in this new year.
I spent so much of 2014 addicted to extravagant fun, always being on-the-go, and making sure I constantly had a packed schedule. Why?
Deep down, I never wanted to face my biggest fear–feeling alone.
I am such a people person. I love nothing more than being with people, whether they’re great friends or new strangers. And on the flip side, I feel almost useless, unimportant, and like I’m wasting precious moments of my life when I’m hanging out at home, with nowhere to go, and nothing to do. It’s like I’ve become afraid of down time–I get so restless; it drives me insane.
So instead of feeling that, I make plans. School, work, ministry, social things, and whatever else I feel like doing to the point of exhaustion–packing many days full so that I feel like my life is significant.
But I’m learning that “being busy” is not the equivalent of living a “full life.” Our importance as individuals and the busy-ness of our schedules have nothing to do with each other.
Why is having no spare time so glamorous in our society, anyway?
We’re all exhausted! No one has time to sit in silence and just BE. We’re so busy trying to create lavish moments so we can post them and convince everyone and ourselves that our lives are so cool.
And most importantly, I had been limiting the depth of the sweet and powerful voice of God in my life. Sure, I’m constantly praying about stuff throughout my day and I read Scripture and devotionals nightly. But this dutiful checklist we have as Christians doesn’t begin to scratch the surface of all that He wants to reveal to us.
When was the last time I kept a whole day open, just to lose track of time in His presence and let His Spirit guide me wherever?
In Luke 2, a prophet, Anna, is mentioned. She spoke of the birth of Jesus that was to come in the future…Like, how important is that?! It says that she “…NEVER left the temple but worshiped NIGHT AND DAY, fasting and praying.
Ummm, what? It’s no wonder she heard God so clearly; she literally spent ALL of her time with Him!
Us Americans are so crazy busy, driving here and there, doing this and that, checking our phones whenever we have a spare moment. I’m not saying to lock ourselves up and become hermits (omg, no way!), but maybe a life where we pause long enough to breathe is the lifestyle we were designed to live.
My friend, Megan, and I had a laid-back first day of 2015 with no real agenda. I almost felt guilty, at first, for not utilizing our day off to go do something extravagant, like a spontaneous trip to the ocean or something.
But as hours passed in Bloom Coffee & Tea, and we talked about true matters of the heart…as our conversations left us better people than we were yesterday, I realized that this slow-paced day was more extravagant and life-changing than any crazy plans we could have made.
Care to join me in this challenge of renewal?
Let’s start 2015 with a fresh mindset. Let’s stop and smell the roses this year, and every year after that. Here’s to refocusing on the true Purpose of this short life. Here’s to not being afraid of rest; not being afraid of alone time; and instead of just enduring it, LOVING it.
Praying that this will be the BEST year of your life so far!