I love breakdowns because they always lead to breakthrough.
I’m all for spontaneity and change, but so much of it has been hitting my life all at once lately. On a Friday night, a few weeks ago, I found myself crying out to God in my room in total frustration. I’ve had about 2 other “rock bottom” moments in my life thus far, and weirdly enough, these moments have become some of my favorite. It’s always when I feel helpless that I’m reminded of how human I am, and how powerful and IN CONTROL God is. He exchanged my heartache for peace, real joy, a re-focused purpose, loving correction, and some of the best weeks of my life since that one night in my room.
I’m going to share with you 7 revelations I had that night. Maybe they’re for you too!
1. You are not defined by what you “do.”
After 4 years of pouring a ton of my life into leading/mentoring high-schoolers, I felt God tell me it was time to close that chapter to enter into a new thing He’s put in front of me. (If you’re a college-aged girl, ask me about Sacramento Sisterhood University, btw!) I felt unneeded and unsure of where I “fit” in the world. My confidence was honestly shaken a bit. Why? Because I needed to be reminded that our identity is not found in what we do. Or in what others think of us. Or in what we wear, or in our relationship status, social status, financial situation, our ministry, our busy-ness, or any other earthly, temporary thing. You are a child of GOD. Jesus died because YOUR soul is SO worth it. You are the apple of His eye, and nothing will EVER change your value and the amount of CRAZY LOVE He has for YOU!
2. “Loneliness is God’s cry for intimacy.”
For so long I used relationships and friendships as a guard against my deepest fears of ever feeling lonely. Although I’ve learned to find real love in Christ, I was having a moment of weakness in my room that night, just feeling alone during this transitional time of my life. But He reminded me that it’s impossible for loneliness to exist in His presence. Those nights you don’t have plans? He’s probably longing for your full attention. A relationship with Him is the reason we exist, so make quality time with Him a priority. It’s the most beautiful love you’ll ever experience. Promise!
3. Half-hearted surrender is not real surrender.
This is going to sound SO dumb, but I was wondering why God wasn’t using me more in the areas He’s given me passions for. I’m definitely a big dreamer, so when He placed dreams in my heart for speaking & encouraging, leading worship, and writing a few years ago, I was honestly wondering why I wasn’t traveling around the world to do so yet, haha. (Looking back now, I’m cringing at the fact I even thought that, omg!)
But I felt Him say to me, “You’re a part of MY plan. My priority is to save souls. I’m not totally concerned with how much stage time you get. Servanthood is servanthood. It’s joyfully assisting in my plan in any way you’re needed–big or small.” Gosh, that hit me hard! In that moment, I fully handed over my gifts, abilities, and heart to Him. And right then I found JOY because I refocused on my purpose. God is a good Father. He LOVES seeing us use the gifts He gave us, but from a humble, fully surrendered heart. The funniest part is since that change of heart, I’ve been given more opportunities to help lead worship in these past few weeks than I have in the past year all together. What a guy!
4. Fear has no right to keep you from what could be one of the best decisions of your life.
I’ve been attending a new church, and let me tell ya, going some place where you have to start fresh can be scary! But by stepping out of my comfort zone I’ve already gained some wonderful new friends and had specific conversations that confirmed I am where I’m supposed to be. Whatever your situation is, dare to take a risk. If it scares you, you should probably go for it. Comfort is easy, but courage is worth it.
5. You literally have NOTHING to worry about.
“If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, you of little faith? So don’t worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
6. Joy is YOURS. You just have to CLAIM it!
Feelings of depression sneak in when we focus on our own pity party, rather than the grand plan God is orchestrating. Ultimately, God’s goal is to use you to share Truth and hope with those that don’t know Him yet. There is revival going on all around us that you could miss out on if you’re too focused on your own little cloud of gloom. Take a step back and remind yourself that life is bigger than you. You play an important role in a beautiful plan.
Life will never be perfect. But Jesus died on a cross so He could save us from all fear, worry, anxiety, depression, and whatever else. He defeated death so that YOU could live life fully and spend forever in Heaven! You literally have nothing to worry about. Simply claim your gift of joy, and enjoy life because it is GOOD.
7. Being a PRAY-ER makes ALL the difference!
That night, I re-committed to being a pray-er. Not just someone who prays, but you know, someone who gets on their knees daily and PRAYYYYS. That has made all the difference. I have refocused on my First Love. He supplies all my needs. The JOY of the Lord is truly my STRENGTH.
I’ve just been so overwhelmed by how good God is! The weeks since that one night have honestly been some of the best of my life. I got the honor of being in my cousin’s wedding, I’ve had a lot of fun times with a bunch of great friends from all over, also met some new ones, and been presented with some cool opportunities to serve. I realized that life has been good all along, sometimes you just need a perspective shift. As an imperfect human, I don’t deserve a thing, but Christ has given me a purpose, permanent JOY, blessings on blessings, and a guaranteed spot partying it up in Heaven for the rest of ever!
Friend, God is good and He loves you so so much. He’s with you. He’s on your side. He wants your full attention, so He can guide you on the path of real, beautiful life. Praying that you’ve felt Him comfort your heart as you’ve read this!
‘Til next time!